Monday, 11 December 2017

Should I Go Back to Work

Many moons ago I had a cool job, in a cool theatre, it was canny hard, long hours, demanding shifts, late finishes early starts and all consuming. And I LOVED IT!!!!!

Anyone who works in Theatre will tell you it takes over, the prickle on your skin when a show starts knowing you were part of that is unbeatable! I was good at it too, organised, efficient good at being nice in the face of stress, tantrums and rudeness!

But with the arrival of 2 children within 18 months (by choice!)  and the sky high cost of childcare (I've moaned about that here)  I found myself in the horrid position of handing over all my salary to a stranger in exchange for leaving my babies in her care and so I gave up my career.

I don't feel resentful for this and I love that I can be there for every small bit of my children's live's, and the big stuff, I don't stress about leaving them when they are sick and of course I get to write this blog in my 'spare time'

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What a job in theatre looks like!!! Oh the fun you can have in the name of 'arts'. Yes that is us looking cool in front of rude bunting!

Another child later and I find myself as a mam of 3 who hasn't worked for someone else for 6 and 1/2 years! Its cool, we've had lots on holidays, we aren't tied to 4 weeks leave a year, I can rearrange my self employed work should I need to and because I don't 'have ' to work I feel really lucky.


Just recently I said yes when asked if I could help out at a theatre I know. It fits round school. its interesting, and I find myself feeling really invested in this 'temporary job'. 

OK I'll admit it, I love being back in theatre, I love being in work, I love earning money again (don't get me wrong theatre pay's peanuts, no one does it for the money!) and I won't lie, I feel like I'm winning at parenting on weeks like this one when the husband is away and I still manage to get everyone to work/school clean and fed, keep the house tidy and make sure we do all the other stuff we are committed too. I'm shattered but I'm winning. I also love the feeling of achievement 

I can feel myself plotting long term goals and mentally prepping procedures for the future, which is as mad as toast really because I'm only there for two more weeks. But it has me thinking, should I be looking for work? Do I really want to? I'm rubbish at being my own boss and working from home but amazingly organised and efficient when working for someone else! I'd hate having to leave the kids if they were ill and I'd hate missing assemblies and such, but millions of parents manage the juggle. Should I feel guilty for thinking about a return to work or am I being stupid?

Parenting is so confusing! Do you go out to work?  Do you wish you did/didn't? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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