Friday, 16 September 2016

The Sisterhood and Building A Village

A little while ago I found myself faced with a situation I hate, a female who I know well was attempting making herself look better by making other women (me included)  look silly/wrong/less educated. It dawned on me that this person had no clue, not a single idea she was doing it and that her upbringing, was in a generation of women who were socially  led to believe that other women are 'out to steal your job/partner/life whatever!' Now I had decided I would write about this and discuss the idea of a patriarchal generation who have encouraged this distrust and discounting or other women....

Then I had a really crap week and a half, the start of school has been tough,...

  • My boy is sad and anxious his sensory issues are in overdrive and he is worrying for England. 
  • I've left my baby every day for 3 hours and she makes me suffer for this every afternoon with tiredness grumpiness and fierce (sometimes painful and exhausting) clinginess. 
  • The man is still swimming in a sea of giant waves of grief from the loss of his Mam, and as a 'fixer' it kills me that I can't make his sea calmer
  • No one is sleeping
  • My biggest girl is truly no bother but the stress of everyone being upset makes her concerned

I won't lie its been emotionally and physically exhausting and I've vented on Facebook a lot , but the spirit of sister hood, the tribal way of supporting one another has shown itself, meaning I'm inclined to write about that more than the spirit of bitterness I had originally planned. Let me tell you about the sow of solidarity I've had...

  • A phone call out of the blue from a pal, ten minutes after my first ever Termite drop off 'hey mama monkeyfeet I'm just ringing to see if you need anything, hug, cake, tea a sympathetic ear....' cue huge racking sobs!
  • I've been messaged with ideas to help my boy
  • I've been sent reassurances that I'm not alone
  • I've been hugged and patted and swamped with empathy and sympathy
  • I've been sent inspirational quotes and lovely compliments on my parenting
  • A friend in a similar situation has gone out of her way to post some worry dolls for The Golden Child
Worry Dolls: Set of 6 in a colorful bag
  • Another sent me this text 'you looked sad and stressed this morning, lets have a cuppa tomorrow'
  • My most calm, kind mamma friend has simply nodded and ahhed in all the right places showing that she may not have a solution but she feels my pain
Yes I'm a bit tearful and soppy right now because my faith in the power of the tribe is again in full swing! But I have said it before and I will say it again 'it takes a village' In decades and centuries gone by women have shared responsibility, woes, advice and childcare. There has historically been a full expectation that women stick together and help each other and sometimes in this current culture of isolation, hiding away behind a computer and the idea that asking for help shows weakness we forget that sisterhood is a strong bond between females, not just family, that the niceness in people means together we can make things better.

I'm thankful for my village near and far , close pals, and those who are only seen once in a while I'm grateful that the spirit of sisterhood stands strong and I will not dwell on those who have lost their way instead I shall double my village-woman efforts to lead them back.

Thank you to each and everyone of you this week, I may be bawling like a baby but they are happy relieved tears


  1. What a lovely post!! Massive hugs to you, glad you have such a great support system. Xx

  2. Hope things pick up for you soon. I only know you a little bit, but I can tell you're a lovely person with a big heart which is all that matters ... like ... ever!!! xxx

    Particularly hope the little guy starts feeling better x