Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Guest Post - A Rich Vein of Socks

Today I have a guest post from the very brilliant Fiona from Mama's Little Baby Loves. This is a post close to my heart, I hate socks, I do theres no lying, when we married I told my husband to never expect to have his socks paired. In my humble opinion life is just too short!

A rich vein of socks...
Since becoming a stay at home mum I have learned that there are no bounds to the excitement everyday tasks can give you...when you have no other source of excitement...well mental excitement anyway. Today I was overjoyed to find that a magical 1 in 230 event had occurred... (wait for it...)
When the tumble dryer stopped lots of tiny child socks happened to be in VERY close proximity to each other.
I know. Awesome right? Was worth the build up wasn’t it? Now if you’re not a mum or someone responsible for dressing multiple small people that might not mean anything to you. If you are and that still doesn’t mean anything to you then you’re obviously broken or lying...I’m talking SOCKS PRACTICALLY PAIRING THEMSELVES here woman!

Whenever this occurs it gets me excited, it gives me hope for the future, it brightens my otherwise potentially epically dull dayI don’t care that the other 229 times I’ve opened the dryer door I have to crouch there on the cold floor rummaging around for 40 minutes looking desperately for 4 socks (I gave up the whole ‘matching pairs’ thing long ago – any four will do), this time the socks were caught unawares, and when the music stopped they were not prepared, they didn’t have time to sneak to the four corners of the tumble dryer, cram themselves in the fluff filter or squash themselves down joggybum legs. This time I won. In your face sockymcsocksocks, I AM the daddy (well the mummy) and I OWN you!!

You might think this is a bit of an over the top reaction, I would think that too, if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m here at home every day where sorting out the socks is a task with quantifiable results, on which my performance as a stay at home mum can be judged. If the sock situation is on a failure pathway, it means the child dressing stage gets delayed, which means we might have to negotiate a deal on watching cbeebies till the end of the next show, which means walkquickly’ negotiations might be damaged ultimately resulting in a multiple meltdown scenario. By the time we’ve got to playgroup we’re all late and I’m cross.
You might not believe it, but I used to have a ‘real job’ where we used all the same words as I’ve used about socks, but about multi-million pound engineering jobs instead. I thought when I started as a stay at home mum that my job would be less important and demanding than my ‘career’, but as it turns out, it’s really not. We still do ‘blue sky thinking’ and ‘work things through’ only now I do it with a 2 yr old and a 3 yr old...instead of ummmm... well let’s stop there shall we...
I’ll tell you one thing for sure though, I’ve left all that washing in the tumble dryer again tonight, because now I know there’s a rich vein of socks to be found, I’m not messing up that load until I’ve exhausted the supply, and have to risk putting the next load in and the epic disappointment that will result when the socks once again, conspire against me, forcing me to pair them. Well at least get out vaguely similar looking ones; let’s not get too carried away.

Well Said Fiona, I personally think socks are evil and wicked! So what winds you up at home or is sock finding and pairing a universal bug bear? You can follow Fiona on Facebook or Twitter


  1. loving it haha made me right chuckle!! mhh i might be one of those annoying mums who hang up the socks next to each other on the drying rack so they can be folded right away once dry (no tumbledryer here!)

  2. I love it!.
    Such a way with words.
    I've a huge basket of odd socks in my room that every few months gets tipped out in desperation but then 10 minutes later and much swearing I just give up.

  3. I hate socks too, they hate me back. Random socks keep separating from their matching partner and secretly vacating my house. I currently have a mound of mismatched socks and need an action plan to overcome this issue.