Several things struck me all at once
- That happened quick
- Yeah we planned close together but oh my peanut is only 9 months
- I'm due back to work in a couple of weeks!
- My SPD has only just disappeared
It was in fact a civilised conversation which resulted in a supportive telephone call from the head of midwifery and an appointment with a different and most kind midwife. One who had birthed 3 times at home and was excited to support me in my choices.
I headed back to work still keeping my secret from all but Spartacus, soon enough though the hormones were at work and I needed to tell my boss, she was very lovely and pleased for me (dissapointed at losing me again when I had just gotten back) although (please no one shoot me for this) I can understand a feeling of shock and disappointment from a boss in this situation after all Id just returned from over a year off mostly at full or high pay and now I was heading on soon again!
My SPD returned with a vengeance and the doctor had me at home from around 20 weeks! More time to plan my home birth, and plan I did, pool organised, house cleared, contingency plans in place fridge stocked and supplies bought, it turns out The Golden Child had other plans though.
I went over by 11 days and by 41 weeks and 3 days I was having my 3rd stretch and sweep and went off car shopping with the husband and peanut. My first signs came in a car showroom on that lovely Sunday afternoon and I knew things weren't far. I had however already said in no uncertain terms would I be forced into induction before 43 weeks, I believe we are all different and technically you aren't late until 42 weeks has passed. This was a mute point because at 4.10am on Monday morning I excitedly woke Spartacus to tell him we were all stations go. With much excitement we decided it was time for tea and TV and spent the next 3 hours watching House on sky plus! My contractions were strong but irregular and then suddenly when peanut woke us they stopped, almost as if my body knew it should wait while I looked after her. As was the norm for peanut and I, we played until lunch time, ate and then went for a nap, I left my tens machine on pulse and managed to sleep although the contractions were back now and getting more regular. We packed peanut off for an afternoon at Nana's and at teatime I called the delivery suite and a midwife was dispatched I remember thinking she would head home soon enough as this had really been a breeze so far, I'd done housework, had a nap and was really rather relaxed, but joy of joys she said these words 'well I think you are about 6cms' Eek it was nearly time to have a home birth.
We asked the two midwives to stay out of sight whilst peanut was brought home and put to bed and then I climbed into the pool, and there I stayed for the next 3 hours blissfully floating like a hippo, but something had changed, everything seemed to slow down, the water had worked a little too well, at 11 pm I was only around 8cms and getting tired so the midwife pretty much stood over me whilst I ate toast and honey, biscuits and a banana. There were lots of under breath conversations and I could feel myself getting anxious so I asked if I could be alone for a while, the midwives explained that baby's heart rate was starting to be a concern so they would like to monitor me more. At this point things started to feel like they were slipping from my control, I was in a room with Spartacus, 2 midwives and a student midwife feeling crowded and not at peace, Spartacus was on the phone to the Godmother asking her to come round and ambulances were being talked about.
By the time the godmother arrived (she's a nurse and I knew she immediately wanted to know if she could be of any help) all I wanted was to curl into a ball and nest for a while but, the decision had been made, my boys heart rate was soaring and not calming quick enough and despite my gut instinct that if I could just have some peace all would be fine, an ambulance was on its way and I was barking instructions about sleeping arrangements, pants and phone chargers.
Blue lighted to the hospital with a paramedic who seemed rather concerned about my calmness and lack of gas use and even more concerned I might be about to deliver in his ambulance, the journey was short and Spartacus was not far behind but it was all a little upsetting. I was zoomed into a room, strapped on a monitor and suddenly I was where I didn't want to be, strapped to a bed with talk of rupturing membranes and staying still for an hour. The drugs were starting to play in my mind but more than that was my need for privacy. The doctors ruptured my membrane and when I was told I would need monitoring I new my active birth was disappearing so asked for some diamorphine.
No sooner had I been given it I was told all was well heart rate was perfect and I could come off the monitor and move around but I could feel the drugs taking effect, I knew I was close but when the many midwives passing in and out of my room asked was I having any urge to push I said no! I knew I was lying but I wanted to be alone with my husband and do what women do. At around 5am a midwife ran into my room saying 'you are pushing I can hear you through the door (you midwives are a clever bunch I thought I was quite quite but apparently you all 'know' )
20 minutes later My boy was in my arms and I can tell you now looking back at the pictures he looked strange! He was flaky and had a pale tinge and had red around and in his eyes from such a speedy birth, (all normal in overdue babies apparently) but when my husband dared say 'is he OK he looks a bit strange ' I snapped off his head with a 'Shurrup hes the most beautiful thing' At last my bolt had come and blinded by love he and I started our very easy this time, breast feeding journey and thankfully I was home before lunch tired from no sleep and a 25 hour labour but happy as can be.
Peanut returned from her preschool looked in the moses basket and said 'awwww my baby', and that was it, our life as a family of four had begun.