Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Will My Child Ever Sleep

Yes I did google 'Will My Child Ever Sleep' more than once! This post was written, in most part, in 2014 when the Termite was barely 1 and was not sleeping and had not slept for a long time, I've decided to post it in the hopes that some of you who are feeling the sleep deprivation may feel better knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel, Sadly I cant tell you how long your sleep tunnel is, Peanut slept from 16 weeks pretty much, The Golden Child not until 13 months and Termite, well there are still nights she wakes us up but she didn't sleep for more than 3 hours ever until she was 23 months!

So for all you sleep deprived parents, who cant remember whether its the left boob or the right, whether you put in 6 scoops or formula or 7. and even remember to put on pants in the morning I PROMISE sleep will come, and maybe you too will look back with rose tints at the nights you got to snuggle a teeny tiny in the dark quiet nights! But know that you are not alone in feeling BAD, here is my post...

July 2014
When Termite was weeny I embraced the night time get ups as a chance to write, it's short lived I told myself so take it as a gift of time! Soon enough though she started sleeping all night and we embraced that even more firmly. Then at 16 weeks we had our immunisations and that was the day the sleep ended! Most nights I'm up every 90 minutes to two hours and let me tell you most nights I'm now too tired to even string together a sentence never mind blog ! The novelty has truly faded, so too have the well though out posts. A look at my draft folder will reveal 37 unfinished posts, this one in fact, bemoaning the struggle of sleep deprivation,  has been started and discarded at various unearthly hours about 17 times! I've begun posts on the rules of sleep club, the things that sleep deprivation affects, the trade offs and the torture and the standards that start to slip. Let me tell you, there was a time not long ago that I could be organised and well planned, now however most days feel like just a survival effort. If we can get to bed time alive and well, clean and fed then we will take that as a win.

I know it sounds very dramatic but in the wise words of a fellow sleep deprived mum 'sleep deprivation seeps into every part of your life, every single relationship' and it does I've missed out on days out and activities because either I've been so tired I couldn't drive safely or honestly it was just too much effort to get ready and get three kids there. I've left pans on, or more insanely not switched on the oven so simply and cruelly found tea sitting just as raw as I last saw it an hour earlier when I put it in the oven! It makes you snappy and short or tearful and irrational. I smile and give reasons for her owl-like night behaviour because the truth is some babies just don't sleep well but behind my smile lies a scruffy emotional overwhelmed loon who sometimes thinks it would be easier to move house than tackle the seemingly endless list of chores to catch up on in order to have a tidy house. Because honestly some days it's just too much to contemplate the laundry or mopping or hoovering! 

At 11 months my nightly affirmations (after 7 straight months of broken nights) are ...,

'The Golden Child didn't sleep until 12 months, you're nearly there'

'This too shall pass'

'Embrace the chance of baby cuddles this time is fleeting'

But I will be honest most nights I praying to my god that I can have 4 straight hours or that the whimper won't turn into a full on wail 'please please let her sleep tonight' 

1 comment:

  1. Did you write this for me? Seriously you could have. Neither of mine sleep yet. I'm so tired and I never know which boob was last! I can rarely drive because I'm dangerously tired. I needed to read this today. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete